Codependent interests and exploded skulls.

I'm participating in NaNoWriMo this year, and the amount of days that I have been motivated to write versus the amount of days I have just messed around on Tumblr looking at taxidermy and goth kids instead is ridiculous. I feel as though I have been telling people about my book more than I have actually written it. I put myself on a Facebook and Tumblr ban the other day, and I have totally not even looked at either once since then... okay. I've peeked... I'm weak and seem to be doing anything to stall writing at this point. Hence me writing here for the first time in ages. I always have liked keeping a journal, a physical journal, but it seems that my fingers move at a pace much more matched with my brain than my hand combined with a pen can manage. I've been wanting to journal more but even my inspiration for that has been meek to non-existent. Anytime I have thought of something to write, it has been because I want to boast or brag about something. That is really not a good thing to do, and I am ashamed that my brain thinks that way sometimes. Recently, I have been very inspired to be myself no matter what. So with that has come the want to create what I want. Be it a sketch, or a blog post, or a novel. I just feel very inspired to get out things that I have created. I think it has to do with my recent living situation. It's a long story for another time, how we ended up living here, but we are living with three friends at the moment. Each one of them makes art in one way or another, and they are all brave in the sense that they are themselves at all times. They aren't afraid to say something that doesn't go along with what someone else said, if that is how they feel. I am very use to yes-men. But at any rate, I feel like recently I have been getting back to my roots. More and more of me has been emerging with each day. The real me too, or what I hope is. I am so accustomed to becoming entranced by a person, or finding someone tremendously interesting so I end up trying to emulate them in one way or another. There is a fine line between those actions and inspiration. I've realized what things are things that I truly like and enjoy and then what I "like" or "enjoy" because it is something that someone I find interesting enjoys. I suppose I am still codependent in some ways.

I've also realized that I want to pick up bone articulating. I've always been fascinated by the macabre. Bones especially have been very fascinating to me. I've made a few hair jewelry pieces make from bone, and I really want to start creating other art made from animal bones. The picture above is a picture of a Beauchene Skull, or exploded skull. I'm not sure who created this one, but it is so beautiful. I really, really want to own one eventually when my living situation is much more permanent.