Moving to Tumlr.

Sorry blogspot, I will miss you < 3

Are we just killing each other?

Its funny how life always finds new ways of forming bumps in the road. I'm at the end of an almost four year journey and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I'm excited to be doing something new and date again, but at the same time its hard to see myself without him. Is that just because we have been together for so long? We had everything planned. Where we would live. How our careers would fit together. Songs that would play at our wedding. I guess we we being naive teenagers.

This has all made me realize that I have lost myself somewhere along the way in the past four years. I stopped having such a interest in music, art, anything but being us. Regardless of what happens from this point on, I think this break-up will benefit both of us. Even if we end up together in the end. Even if we don't. I'm not going to be completely unrealistic and say that it won't be hard and that I won't have bad days where I want to give up and just get back together. I need to find out who I am again.

The start is to stop fucking with my appearance so much. I think it was a way to try and find happiness with myself, to keep changing how I look on the outside. Because I wasn't/am not happy with how I look on the inside. I'm starting a pact to not chop off my hair anymore. This is to be my inspiration:


Maybe its all the She & Him I've been listening to talking...

I have come to the realization that I hate money. It is the root of all evil. It is a noose around my neck getting tighter and tighter. I had to pay $2400 to get just my breaks fixed on my car. My car isn't even that old, its a 2002! I was suppose to get my tattoo last week.. Damn car. I am down to $100, if that. And I have a $106 electric bill, a $45 internet bill, and since my savings account was all spent on my car I now have to pay for gas out of pocket.

Why do people who have a couple thousand dollars in their bank accounts find it necessary to call themselves poor? Or even people who have a couple hundred. You are not poor. If there was really something that you needed to buy, you could do it.
I guess I'm still better off than some people are. I have a roof over my head still.
I need to wash my hair for the 2nd time today. I tried to finger-wave my hair and failed miserably. Now I have so much gel in my hair it won't even straighten. It feels like I cracked a egg on my head. Oh yea, and dreads have been gone.

I think our air conditioning is broken too.
Isn't life wonderful? I think a big thanks should be sent to the big man in the sky.