Its funny how life always finds new ways of forming bumps in the road. I'm at the end of an almost four year journey and I'm not exactly sure how I feel about it. I'm excited to be doing something new and date again, but at the same time its hard to see myself without him. Is that just because we have been together for so long? We had everything planned. Where we would live. How our careers would fit together. Songs that would play at our wedding. I guess we we being naive teenagers.
This has all made me realize that I have lost myself somewhere along the way in the past four years. I stopped having such a interest in music, art, anything but being us. Regardless of what happens from this point on, I think this break-up will benefit both of us. Even if we end up together in the end. Even if we don't. I'm not going to be completely unrealistic and say that it won't be hard and that I won't have bad days where I want to give up and just get back together. I need to find out who I am again.
The start is to stop fucking with my appearance so much. I think it was a way to try and find happiness with myself, to keep changing how I look on the outside. Because I wasn't/am not happy with how I look on the inside. I'm starting a pact to not chop off my hair anymore. This is to be my inspiration:
Maybe its all the She & Him I've been listening to talking...
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