The world is a vampire.

This world is messed up. Every single person in this messed up world is equally as messed up. No matter how much you try to convince yourself that these things aren't true, in the end you are just lying to yourself.

Although the world is a vile thing, how you deal with it means one of two things. Life. Or death. You can choose to sulk in the garbage of everyday life. Force yourself to relive every wrong that has ever been done to you, every friend that has betrayed you, ever lover that had ever broken your heard, every disappointment you have ever felt. You can choose to get upset and angry at the person driving slow in front of you. You can choose to get pissed off at the person at work who is an "idiot."

Or, you can let go. You can come to terms with the fact that people are wretched. You can forgive, not forget, but forgive people for wronging you because that is all you can do. You can't go back and teach them how to be a decent human being. You can't go back and right their wrongs. You can choose to not get bent out of shape at the slow driver. You can try to have some empathy and realize maybe they are a new driver, maybe they are lost, maybe they are tired, maybe they have a mental problem. Everyone has their bad days. Everyone looses their temper, but try and look back on times when you may have been that slow driver, or that annoying customer.

You may not think you have been that person, but I guarantee you are not free from making mistakes and not realizing you made them.

Going through life with so much resentment and hate is exhausting. I lived it for twenty years.

Coming to terms with things and forgiving people doesn't mean that you forget about the things though. Up until recently I knew this double edged sword all too well.

There is a fine line between being okay with things, and lying to yourself saying that things are okay and legitimizing things that are messed up and shouldn't be okay. I don't know that I will ever perfect that balance.

All I know is that without having hope for a better tomorrow, what is the point of living at all? Before I had hope I had nothing. No reason to live. I just coasted along, drifting from one depressing event to the next. Dying slowly in my own misery.

There is a lot of wretched things and people in this world, when you find something or someone that makes it all seem a bit brighter, focus on it/them and don't let go.