Movie Review: The Raven

A few months ago whenever I heard that there would be a movie out called The Raven and Edgar Allan Poe would be in it, I was excited but wondered how they were going to turn Poe's The Raven into a feature length film. Then I learned that it was just the name. The actual story was that about a serial killer who has been completely enamored by Poe, therefor following the plot lines of many of Poe's work in order to murder someone from Baltimore. Once the inspector of the town realized what was happening, Poe is enlisted to help shed some light on the cases and hopefully find the murderer. Not to mention this is all during, I believe, the last weeks or so of his life hinting at how Poe could have died. I really was weary about the story line but I thought it was a creative way to deal with his death and explain it. In the beginning of the movie they said that Poe was found on a park bench near death and that was the last time anyone saw him. Which isn't true. He was found dead in a gutter. Aside from this detail, which could be explained away, the movie was fantastic! When I found out that John Cusack was going to play Poe I wasn't very thrilled at all. I though Willem Dafoe or Christopher Walkin would have been much better although they are too old. But not happy-go-lucky Cusack. I am eating my words now. He did a brilliant job. The only emotion that Cusack didn't make me feel that Poe does is creep-ed out. The second the movie was over the thought I had was that I needed to see the movie again, very soon. I highly recommend this movie. Everything from the acting, the way the movie was filmed, and the dialogue, to the costuming and the makeup was awesome. I loved it. The movie was gorier than I had anticipated, and I did look away a little even though I am very familiar with special effects cosmetics, but it was also beautifully done. I have been left with a wonderful bundle of fresh inspiration and even more love for the amazing Edgar Allan Poe. I also did an outfit of the day video of a dress I made for tonight because I am a giant nerd. I will post the video once I have time to upload it.

Vile Recordings.

Listening to a record where all of the recorded musicians were recorded from one take. My first thought was how interesting and inspiring the idea is, and then for some reason my head jumped into selling mode. People like uniqueness and that it sells well. Recording an album full of songs recorded in one take would be a good selling feature to swindle a few quick bucks. I am very beyond disturbed right now. I don't understand if it is society who programmed me to think so vile-y, the more than a year of marketing and sales classes, or if it's just me. I'm a bit distraught because this happens often.

Public Serivice Announcement.

I have been doing my hardest to make sure I am living the life that I want to live. Not the life that others want for me. Yes, I was working in a pretty good clothing store but I was going completely mental doing so. It was a dead end job that meant nothing. I was doing nothing to help anyone. I was doing nothing to make myself happy. I was being managed by a regional sales director who ignored the fact that he had put an older man in charge who had two strokes recently and forced him to work open to close almost ever single day for months on end. My stress level had never been higher. Not to mention having that power hungry man tell us through our tailor that we were all worthless and didn't deserve our jobs when we were all busting our butts to keep the company above water. You tell me if you would want to stay at that place selling suits.

I finally had my migraines under control and due to the stress at this job, I was getting them on a regular basis. Ones that completely crippled me. Not to mention numerous panic attacks and near mental break downs. I also was working so much I never was able to hang out with my friends. And now I've lost contact with pretty much all of them.

I'm sorry I don't want some ridiculous corporate job just like everyone else. I would rather make just enough to live off of and be helping people or be happy than be constantly depressed and stressed out, faking every smile I give if I even give one. I guess I am selfish in this way.

So yes, I quit that job because there were BIG ETHICAL ISSUES going on there that I wanted zero to do with. I also wasn't happy and that is the most important thing to me. That and my sanity which wasn't doing so hot either.

I found a job at our local health food store working for a family of people who actually give two cents about others. I am making a difference for people, even if it is a small one. I was welcomed with loving open arms, something I haven't experienced in a lot of other workplaces. And you know what the kicker is, I'm happy. I actually see a pretty bright future ahead of me now. I see a light at the end of the tunnel and my life finally has direction. I'm making slightly less money but that's okay.

So don't you dare tell me what kind of job I am suppose to have or what kind of job you want me to have because if you want me to have a job that is threatening to put me in a loony-bin than I'm sorry to disappoint. If you want me to have a job where serious ethical problems are occurring, than once again you're going to be disappointed.

I'm sick and tired of people having issues with me trying to find a job where I am happy. First of all I have an issue with working somewhere just so I can have the necessary food, water, and shelter. Second, I refuse to be in a miserable job just like everyone else until I die. That is a pathetic way to live the short life we have. I'm sorry if any of this comes across as rude but that is the stick I have been dealt in this matter. I'm sick of being walked on and talked to and especially talked about like some idiot when all I am doing is perusing my own happiness and a way to help people.

In the end happiness is all that matters. I'm not doing drugs, I'm almost never touch alcohol, I never go out, I don't hurt people. I'm sick of being treated like I am and I'm done not standing up for myself.

Sometimes I wish this company were real.

Some people from the past need to stay there. I'm sick of being haunted, even after more than a year. It makes me wonder if I will ever be free from thoughts of them. Even when I am happier than I have ever been in my entire life, I will have a flashback that threatens to change all of that.

Can you find best friends on Craigslist like you can a desk?

In this day and age how are you suppose to make friends? There is so much fake stuff floating around. I just want to have that best friend again that calls me ever day and I call them everyday. Someone who loves God as much as I do. Someone who has the same interests as I do. Someone I don't have to worry about having my back, talking bad about me, or not understanding my relationship with God. A lot of my friends don't believe in God or even take part in a different religion which is perfectly fine and I still love them, but it is really hard to find someone like me out there.

The creep that I am always finds people on different social networking sites that I would love to get to know and would get along great with, but due to them being well known its impossible.

Bleh. Frustrations about this stuff have been a re-occurring thing lately. I just miss having that person that is so close they are almost like having a twin. I love my boyfriend and consider him my best friend, but its not nearly as fun to go shopping and talk about girly stuff with him. I'm sure he feels the same way. I just want to find my match in the best friend department. I feel like everyone is already paired off with one so its hard to get close to anyone.

I also feel like a lot of people are so wrapped up in the negatives. I want to find someone that is really uplifting and positive all the time. I understand everyone has their ups and downs but I feel like some people just have so much negative energy around them, ya know?

I don't know. I shouldn't complain. I do have wonderful friends and family and a loving boyfriend. Its just hard whenever I see other people having girls days and having best friends who are like a second half.

Nature is gooood.

I got a brand new, awesome 32g, white iPhone for Christmas this year. I went to the gym one night, and forgot my lock. I thought I would be fine completely hiding it in clothing and at the bottom of my backpack in a locker, but no. The weird girl that I though was strangely watching me change and such was apparently watching my iPhone instead. I was flattered, but once I realized my phone wasn't at the bottom of my backpack wrapped in my shirt and pants that quickly changed to anger. I searched and searched and searched for the wench and all I found was myself panicking. The worst part of the whole ordeal was that it was a gift from my loving mother.

Its been about two weeks, maybe three since "the incident" and although I miss Instigram dearly and having a GPS on me at all times since I have the sense of direction of a watermelon, I am growing more and more happy and okay with the desperate girl acting on probable impulse. I had been trying to get back into making art, writing, and reading more often as well as trying to cut the cord so to speak on my relationship with technology. I still check my e-mail and various social networking sites every morning and usually once in the evening, but it is really nice to not have the option to check it constantly now that I am using an old Pantech that isn't as smart as my/her iPhone.

I've always felt pretty in touch with nature and the Earth, hence my Wiccan days, so the loss of my phone was kind of the turning point to what has sprouted a slow building complete turn around in my life. A few weeks, maybe a month or more before Christmas I started being really turned off by factory made clothing and mass produced clothing/goods. That has slightly worn off. The most recent change is that I have stopped messing with my hair so much. I haven't straightened more than my straight across bangs for the reason that they are straight across and my hair is actually showing noticeable signs of growth.

Although I have a makeup focused YouTube channel, and love makeup and special effects makeup, I have felt really disgusting every time I wear the amounts of makeup I use to. (See my last post.) And since the last times I talked about in my last post, I haven't worn more than some concealer, mineral powder, and mascara. I've kept up with washing, toning, and moisturizing my face every morning and usually every night. I can't even tell you the last time my skin has felt this good.

I also signed up for a grocery service I have been eye-balling for awhile called Green B.E.A.N. Delivery. The groceries they offer are organic and natural produce and groceries delivered right to you. A couple people I know have been happy members for a little while and I can't wait for my first delivery next Friday! The link to the website is: http://www.raniamaria.eu/wp-content/uploads/2011/08/DSC_8358_red31.jpg

I'm sick of wearing a mask.

I have had the urge all day today to just throw out almost all of my makeup, my straightener, my blow dryer, my curling iron, and all of the other crap that helps me alter how I look naturally. All the stuff that helps me hide behind who I really am. The past month I haven't straightened my hair except for my fringe and I have barely worn any makeup. I tried two times in the past week to wear the layers of makeup that I use to wear daily and by the end of the day I felt completely disgusting inside and out and couldn't wait to take a shower. It felt like I had clay all over my face, or wax or something. I also didn't feel like I looked as good at first once I saw myself with the "mask" on. I feel like that's all it is. A mask. And don't get me wrong, its nice to play dress up every once in awhile, but for the most part I can't stand altering myself so much like I use to.

I really want to start taking an active roll in only putting natural things on and in my body. Eating healthy and being active aren't the only important aspects of being 100% healthy overall, I have slowly been realizing.